The 5 Lies I Believed About Confidence—Until I Found My Identity in Christ
I used to think confidence was something you could just wake up and decide to have. That if I looked a certain way, acted a certain way, or achieved enough, I’d finally feel secure in who I was. But no matter how much I tried to convince myself I was confident, something always felt off.
Maybe you’ve felt it too. Like you’re constantly reaching for something just out of grasp—whether it’s beauty, success, or approval—hoping that once you have enough of it, you’ll finally feel whole. But instead of feeling free, you feel trapped, exhausted, and never quite there.
I get it, because I’ve been there. And if I’m honest, I spent way too long believing lies about confidence that only left me feeling more insecure. But when I finally let go of those lies and rooted my identity in Christ, everything changed.
Here are five lies I believed about confidence—maybe you’ve believed them too—and the truth that finally set me free.
Lie #1: Confidence Comes from Appearance
I thought if I just looked better, I’d feel better. So I spent years picking myself apart, trying to fix every little thing, hoping that once I finally became pretty enough, confidence would follow. But it never did—because confidence isn’t found in the mirror.
The truth? True confidence comes from knowing you were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Your worth isn’t tied to how you look. God created you with intention, and that alone makes you enough.
Lie #2: Confidence Means Never Feeling Insecure
I used to think confident people never doubted themselves. That they walked into every room with their head high and never second-guessed a thing. But that’s just not real life.
The truth? Confidence isn’t the absence of insecurity—it’s choosing to trust God over your fears. It’s knowing that even on your worst days, your value doesn’t change.
Lie #3: Achievements Will Make You Feel Secure
I believed if I was successful enough, people would respect me, and I’d finally feel good about myself. So I worked hard, accomplished things, and yet… the insecurity lingered.
The truth? Achievements might bring temporary validation, but they can’t give you lasting security. Only when you root your confidence in who God says you are—not what you do—will you find real peace (Jeremiah 17:7).
Lie #4: You Have to Prove Yourself to Be Worthy
For the longest time, I felt like I had to earn my worth—like I had to be lovable enough, impressive enough, something enough to be worthy of belonging.
The truth? You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. You are already deeply loved and chosen by God (Ephesians 1:4-5). Nothing you do can make Him love you more, and nothing you fail at can make Him love you less.
Lie #5: Confidence Comes from Within
The world tells us to "just believe in yourself." But what happens when you don’t? When self-doubt creeps in? When you feel like you’re falling short?
The truth? Real confidence doesn’t come from self-belief—it comes from God-belief. It’s knowing that even when you feel weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9). It’s trusting that He is the one who defines you—not the world, not your feelings, and not your flaws.
Finding True Confidence in Christ
Let me tell you—when I stopped chasing confidence the world’s way and started rooting my identity in Christ, everything changed. I no longer felt like I had to hustle for my worth. I stopped believing I had to be perfect to be loved.
But I won’t sit here and say I have it all figured out. I’m still unlearning the lies I once believed about confidence. Some days, I still struggle. Some days, the old thoughts try to creep back in. But as I’ve started shifting my identity from external things to who I am in Him, I’ve experienced a level of freedom I never had before.
I’m not perfect at it, but I’m doing so much better than I ever have—because now, I know the truth about where my worth comes from.
True confidence doesn’t come from appearance, achievements, or other people’s approval—it comes from knowing who you are in the Lord. It comes from choosing faith over fear, again and again. Instead of placing your worth in things that shift and fade, confidence is built on the unshakable truth that you are already enough in Him—and you always will be.
No matter what changes in your life—your job, your body, your relationship status, your follower count—staying rooted in Him will never change. He is constant. He is steady. His love for you isn’t based on how successful, beautiful, or accomplished you are. It doesn’t go up and down with your circumstances.
And when you finally let go of the pressure to prove yourself and rest in that truth? It’s freeing. It’s liberating. It’s the kind of confidence that can’t be shaken—because it’s built on the One who never changes.
And that is the only confidence worth having.
